return to the island of misfit toys

this is it. the last one. we did it, people. 20 episodes of this show and we ... well, i don't know what exactly we did here. but it was sure something, wasn't it?

some of you who know me also know that my full-time, pays-the-bills gig involves writing about and speaking on fantasy foosball. as part of that gig, i end up playing in a myriad of fake football leagues. honestly more than i care to count.

hey. wake up. it's time to do the kolchak thing again. look, we're almost done here so i only need your attention for a few more weeks. then we can all rejoice in the autumnal bacchanalia of footbaw!

not so's you'd notice, but i haven't been here for a couple of weeks. i took some time out of my weird life writing about fake football while moonlighting as a reviewer of an offbeat 1970s sci-fi/horror reporter-based dramedy. i decided instead to go be weird across parts of western europe. one day, i might even write about some of my misadventures. one day.the euros got their fill of me and sent me back after 10 days. which works out well for you. because now you get to hear all about the time our man carl kolchak went back to college.

when i was 11, my family and i visited mount rushmore. turns out that we were in town at the same time as the sturgis motorcycle rally. which my parents were totally unaware of. i don't really remember much about that part of the trip but i don't think my folks were too keen on having their 11-year old son and 6-year old daughter hanging out with bikers.

warning! danger, will robinson!

we have a new leader in the clubhouse for the worst episode of kolchak: the night stalker . 

last week in this space, i gushed about the magic that was kolchak episode 12. it was the perfect confluence of story, writing with a pinch of my own home-made conspiracy theory that made it my favorite hour of the show so far.This week, we get back to good ol' "wtf is happening here" type kolchak. it felt right, guys. it felt right.

normally i start each of these with some random observation or silly non-sequitur that eventually leads to the start of the episode. this week, all i have to say is that really did enjoy this episode. pretty much from start to finish it was a lot of fun to watch. do yourself a favor and spend $1.99 and have a fun hour.

we've reached the second half of our odyssey through carl kolchak's haunted chicago. so far, what have we learned?

(editor's note: i tried to do a goofy bit about different things we've "learned" from 10 episodes of this show and all i could really come up with were "kolchak is a shabby dresser" and "he'll run with the wildest theories imaginable". i really just figured i should do something looking back on the first 10 and preparing for next 10. but ... why? let's just do this.)

before i sat down to write the recap for this episode, i heated up some taco fixins that were in my fridge. i considered also heating up some tortillas to go along with it but then i realized that while tortillas are delicious, they are merely a vessel for getting the really good stuff into your face. that's a function that can be handled even more efficiently by a fork. so i put all of the stuff into one bowl and threw it in the microwave. if you're wondering what this has to do with anything, you now know what it was like to watch the opening of episode 10.

people always tell you to never judge a book by its cover. but since bookstores generally frown upon you standing there and reading the entire thing without actually buying it, how else am i gonna find a great book? that non-sequitur leads me to this week's look into the kooky life of carl kolchak.

i sit writing this on a particularly windy los angeles evening. fitting perhaps since i'm writing about a show set in the windy city. of course, this is where #WellActually twitter comes in handy. this is also a hackneyed device to fabricate an intro to get me into the rest of this post. but you read it. so thank you.

part of being able to digest a critical review of a piece of art is knowing a little something about the reviewer. what are that person's tastes? what are their sensibilities? what eccentricities do they harbor that colors their view of the world? personally, i have a fascination with the idea of spontaneous human combustion.

you ever have an idea for a project that seems so awesome at first but then you start to actually execute the project and you start to think that maybe your great idea wasn't so great after all? we've all been there. it's also what i'm starting to think about the creators of this show and their decision to base it in chicago.

the thing about shooting a television show in los angeles is that eventually you want to show off los angeles. while carl kolchak inhabits a decidedly spooky chicago, the universal studios backlot that gave birth to kolchak's ghostly adventures is decidedly in southern california.so for this week's episode, carl packs up his rumpled suit, grabs his ragged hat and heads to the golden state.

gather round children and let me tell you a tale of the great beyond. the tale of things both known and unknown. a tale of things that are imagined, hoped for, and feared all at once. i tell a tale of carl kolchak and his fanciful investigations into darkest chicago.

the beauty of episodic television is that there are no consequences to anything. which is a really odd thing to consider about television nowadays. prestige television has made story results matter. continuity is second only to narrative. 

there are plenty of similarities in the film and television archetypes of both the private investigator and the reporter. generally, both are dogged pursuers of fact, willing to bend (or occasionally flout) the rules in order to get information. they venture into often-perilous situations against the demands of common sense or their own best interests and shine a light on people and situations that would rather be left in the dark.