kolchak: the night stalker -- episode 11: horror in the heights
we've reached the second half of our odyssey through carl kolchak's haunted chicago. so far, what have we learned?
(editor's note: i tried to do a goofy bit about different things we've "learned" from 10 episodes of this show and all i could really come up with were "kolchak is a shabby dresser" and "he'll run with the wildest theories imaginable". i really just figured i should do something looking back on the first 10 and preparing for next 10. but ... why? let's just do this.)
we begin the episode in the roosevelt heights section of chicago -- an old jewish neighborhood. in an attempt to escape going to temple, harry starman and his mates sneak into a meat packing warehouse for a little penny ante poker.
of course, every game has a mark (insert joke about looking around a table...). in this case, the mark's name is...
buck fineman.
(you thought i was gonna say mark, didn't you?)
anyway, buck's not very good at poker. but his part time job is working security at this warehouse so he can get the guys in at night. harry brings a bottle of something for the boys to tip back and they send buck out to get some glasses.
only buck don't come back.
that's because buck ran into rabbi shulman. at least it looks like rabbi shulman. a creepily quiet rabbi shulman who only seems to want a hug. if only. in reality, buck is getting hugged (?) to death by some sort of furry wolfish manbearpig or something. sucks for buck.
spooky kooky kolchak hears something that sparks his interest, so he checks it out. the cops found a chewed up corpse but they're telling kolchak that they suspect the old dude was eaten by rats.
your honor...i'd like to call hattori hanzo to the stand.
i rest my case, your honor.
so that's the story the cops are selling. kolchak ain't buying. otherwise, it would be a short episode. oh, by the way, miss emily is writing a detective novel. just thought you should know.
more strangeness afoot in roosevelt heights:
meet mr. and mrs. goldstein. on their way home from a movie, they decide to take a shortcut through an alley. because what could go wrong?
in fairness, mrs. goldstein wasn't cool with the idea. after buck fineman's mysterious death and a recent proliferation of swastikas painted on walls in the neighborhood, you might understand why mrs. g wasn't too keen on dark alleys. instead of being understanding, mr. g complains about his feet hurting and threatens to let his wife walk home the long way by herself. great guy.
scared, she rushes to catch up to her husband in the alley. let it be known, anything that happens from here on out is on you, mr. goldstein. "anything that happens" is a friendly neighborhood cop. a creepily quiet friendly neighborhood cop who only seems to want a hug. if only. in reality, the goldsteins are getting hugged (?) to death by some sort of furry wolfish manbearpig or something. sucks for the goldsteins.
cops: old people. they died. got ate by rats.
kolchak gets tipped off to the deaths by harry starman, who has his own theory. it's the hindu guy who opened an indian restaurant in roosevelt heights and is drawing swastikas. harry thinks he's a nazi. kolchak smartly notes the high improbability of a hindu nazi.
when carl kolchak is debunking your wild theories, you need to go have a lie-down.
nonetheless, harry convinces carl to check it out. kolchak hops the fence into the yard behind the restaurant while starman waits outside. while he's waiting, he sees carl kolchak. a creepily quiet carl kolchak who only seems to want ... well actually, he's just ambling indifferently directly toward harry. which is weird since kolchak is actually still on the other side of the fence.
that's not good for harry. he screams (presumably from furry wolfish manbearpig) which brings kolchak back in a hurry. too late for harry, but not too late for kolchak to see a small indian man who mumbles a word -- rakshasa -- and runs away. then the cops show up. because it had been a couple of weeks since kolchak was found alongside a dead body while peddling a strange alibi.
kolchak tells his side of the story. which, of course, the police don't believe. just in time, tony vincenzo shows up with bail money.
when vincenzo shows up to bail out kolchak, it leads to an interesting exchange. there's an implied threat of police violence against kolchak. it's not the first time this has happened on the show but it makes me wonder if the writers were trying to make a comment about cops. or if it's just that kolchak annoyed them to near violence. i'd lean toward the latter theory, but ... <--shrug-->
back out on the streets, kolchak chats up an exterminator about the possibility of rats being able to devour a human body in a minute's time. the orkin man says it's nearly impossible. but the orkin man is also eating sandwich while simultaneously spraying chemicals. so i question his judgment and expertise. though in this case, i think he's on the mark.
that sends kolchak back to the indian restaurant to see what he can learn about the owner. the only person in the place is the waiter who tells kolchak that the boss is rarely ever at home and has a weird habit of asking people if they ever see close friends or relatives walking around late at night. (as one does.)
before long, kolchak excuses himself to the restroom and instead sneaks around back and breaks into the restaurant's basement. eventually, he stumbles into a bedroom filled with lit candles and swastikas all over the walls. it feels like the climax of a dateline nbc expose.
UNTIL A DUDE WITH A CROSSBOW SHOWS UP!
an old indian man shows up out of nowhere and rips off a shot with a crossbow that misses kolchak, who wisely escapes while the old guy has a heart attack or something. normally, i'd condem kolchak for running away and leaving a man in distress. but if you shoot a crossbow at me, my sympathy meter is on zero.
back at independent news service, kolchak has learned that swastikas were originally hindu symbols designed to ward off evil spirits. so obviously, that's what we have here. i mean, that's the only possible explanation, right?
speaking of evil spirits ... enter a pair of cops on patrol. they see something sneaking around an alley. one cop sees friendly sergeant devito. the other sees his mom. and follows her down the alley.
***blank stare***
***shakes head***
not once after seeing a friend or loved one in a dark alley at weird times of night does someone ask "hey (friend or loved one), what are you doing here right now?"
the momma's boy walks down the alley and (wouldn't ya know it) furry wolfish manbearpig gets him. the other officer walks over and sees sgt. devito standing over his dead partner's body. sarge starts to approach. the officer unloads his gun. and then...
kolchak visits an art dealer specializing in east indian artifacts.
(what? you wanted to know about the cop? i assumed he was dead. but it gets tricky. i'll explain later. back to the art guy.)
he tells the nuisance reporter about the rakshasa. which is easier to type than furry wolfi...you know. it's an evil spirit that can possess people's minds to take the form of a loved one and loves eating human flesh -- all traits you should avoid putting on your tinder bio. and it also looks like a hairy beast in ancient paintings.
the rakshasa were driven into the underworld and every so often send a scout to see if it's cool to take over the earth again. the good news is that they can be killed by crossbow with sacred arrows. although i don't think they carry those at target. though they should. because ... target.
kolchak makes one last visit to the old man in the restaurant in order to clear up the legend. turns out that the old dude is sorta like an indian van helsing. he's been chasing and killing rakshasa for 60 years in the service of the brahma. but as he lay on his death bed, he bequeaths his trusty crossbow and arrows to kolchak and warns him that he might have to shoot a trusted friend.
the reporter leaves the basement and walks back into the alley for some unknown reason. out of the shadows steps a familiar figure. it's miss emily. she's talking about chasing down crime stories for her detective novel. (there's a reason i told you that!) meanwhile she's creeping up on a suspicious kolchak who lets one fly straight and true into the gut of emily cowles
who turns into the big furry rakshasa
and then falls over.
dead.
presumably the body just disappeared or disintegrated. no one bothers to make mention of it or even suggest that they looked for it. so all's well that ends with no one asking any really necessary questions
reporter's notebook
the thing about the cop firing at the rakshasa in the alley. the scene faded to black, leading you to believe that he was killed like the rest. but later, kolchak specifically mentions the officers' hallucinations. that means one of them had to survive, right? the bullets obviously didn't kill the rakshasa but did they at least scare it off?
tony for each of the past three episodes has taken a swipe at old people. just for a laugh, i looked up simon oakland's age when he was filming this show. he was 59. certainly not old, per se. but certainly closer to "old" than "young" on the age spectrum. maybe that was the joke?
ron updyke has had increasingly less to do in each episode. perhaps the writers got tired of having carl bully him around. seems as though they could come up with some reason to have him a little more visible. eventually he may go the way of monique ('memba her?) who has just vanished without a word.
this week's spelling word: starman. s-t-a-r ... one r.
quote of the week
"am i supposed to see god's design in all this?" - tony vincenzo
lord help us if you are.
next week on kolchak: the night stalker : A military robot, programmed with a survival instinct, turns on its creator when it learns that it is to be deactivated.