return to the island of misfit toys

gothamites -- chapter 2: batman day

day 3

first day at the new job. had almost forgotten that i don't have a side view mirror anymore. at least the door opens from the outside.

8:06 a.m.
odometer: 19,345.2
5 miles from work

"you are on the fastest route. you should arrive at your destination by ... 11:01 a.m.

wut? that can't be right. it's five miles. must be a glitch.

8:16 a.m.
odometer: 19,346.9
3.3 miles from work

"traffic on the sixes on wgtm ... good luck if you're out on the roads today, gotham. looks like it could be a batman day..."

batman day? what's a "batman day"?

"you'll need plenty of patience if you're heading into downtown on the thomas wayne expressway. there's a pretty massive cleanup underway. crews have been at it since around 3 a.m. with no end in sight. traffic's backed up for miles from central avenue..."

sign approaching: central avenue - exit 3 1/4 mi

 

8:32 a.m.
odometer: 19,346.9
3.3 MILES FROM WORK

call work...

"i'm sorry. i didn't understand you."

call. work...

"..."

call...

"i'm sorry. your request timed out."

sigh

call. work.

"okay. calling herc."

what? i don't know anybody named herc!

"i can not find herc in your contacts."

no shit!

"who would you like me to call?"

callllll. woooooooork.

"..."

...

"..."

...

"..."

i swear i will throw you out...

"okay...calling work."

ring. ring. ring. ring. ring. ring. ring.

beeep.

hi... um. this is LOUD HORNS

not sure who's getting this message. i'm the new guy. supposed to start today.

anyway, uh, traffic's pretty bad. might be a little late.

i just want you to know that i'm normally a very punctual person. i left my house 45 minutes early even though i only live 5 miles away. i've just been stuck on the freeway for 30 minutes and i'm not even halfway there. and boy, i thought traffic in los angeles was bad. but i'm trying to get there and also i need to know which

beeep.

gate to go through.

damn.

...

call work again.

"i'm sorry. i didn't understand you."

nevermind.

9:26 a.m.
odometer: 19,347.7
2.5 miles from work

c'mon. let me get over. i've gotta get off this thing.

hooooooooooooooooooorn

moooooooore hooooooooooooorns

"it's 9:26 and for you folks stuck downtown on the expressway, i WOULD suggest getting off onto surface streets. but i don't need to tell you that it's at a complete standstill right now. you're not going anywhere for awhile."

*starts to cry silently*

10:36 A.M.
odometer: 19, 349.1
1.1 miles from work

"got some good news for folks on the t.w.e. looks like cleanup crews are done and the commute should start moving again soon. the bad news is now we have a stalled car blocking the central avenue exit. tow trucks are trying to turn around but that's gonna slow things a little while longer."

@$^%*(@_!($&%@#!

11:01 A.M.
odometer: 19,350.2

"you have arrived at your destination."

this gate is just for employees. can i help you, sir?

i work here. was supposed to start today. ran into a little traffic.

well ... it's a batman day. offices are closed.

what the hell is a batman day?

it's like a snow day. but y'know ... with batman. didn't you get the email?

today is my first day. i don't even know if i have email yet.

oh. anyway, they sent an email. you'll probably get it tomorrow.

but tomorr...

hey, at least you get the rest of the day off. have a good one, buddy.

11:06 A.M.

"it's just been a terrible day on the t.w.e. just as things get flowing into downtown, we've got an injury accident going the other way. paramedics are making their way to the scene. if you're trying to get out of central gotham, hang tight. you're gonna be tied up."

i really hate this place.